Alex and I went through boxes and shelves of old stuff during the holidays. It helped that we were both sick and quarantined in our small apartment. The mixed feelings of guilt (this extravert felt guilty from the lack of holiday socials!) and desire to be productive led to this holiday project. The nostalgia went well with the Christmas cheer.
I found that most of my possessions were writings. I kept so many words - journal entries, sermon notes, birthday cards, written prayers, postcards, love letters… and they brought back such salient memories that I decided to keep most of them haha (so much for cleaning out!). I started journaling when I was 10 years old as a way to process my thoughts. In times of both joy and hardship, it was always easier to start writing than drowning in my own head. Writing something down gives you a place to start. It gives you something to work with and evolve.
I stopped journaling a few years ago. I don’t remember why but like any habit, I’ve adapted to my journal-less life. I can’t fathom having time to write anymore. I’ve also noticed I’ve become more anxious and less in tune with my feelings. I don’t take the time to sit down and choose words to describe what’s going on inside of me. Rather, the moment passes… and without the reflection and internal processing, I miss out on important life lessons, gratitude, and testimonies of what God is doing.
With 2019, I want to challenge myself to be more reflective and pick up the habit of writing. It’s a discipline! It’s going to require practice. I’m telling myself that it doesn’t have to be crafted perfectly, as long as it’s earnest ;) This blog is a small part of this endeavour. I want to share with you what I’m learning, not just in terms of calligraphy, but as a person trying to live this life joyfully. I already know I’m going to look back at this blog in a year or three or five, and feel encouraged. More birthday cards, more devos, more pen pals, more blog posts, more scribbles to myself! Here goes!